"Every man has some reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone, but only to his friends. He has others which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself, and that in secret. But finally there are still others which a man is even afraid to tell himself, and every decent man has a considerable number of such things stored away. That is, one can even say that the more decent he is, the greater the number of such things in his mind."

 

Posted December 8th, 2010 at 11:05 PM :: 1 comments

"Man is a mystery. It needs to be unravelled, and if you spend your whole life unravelling it, don't say that you've wasted time. I am studying that mystery because I want to be a human being."  

Posted December 6th, 2010 at 09:31 PM :: Add a Comment

There is five stage of griefing.  Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  But, mine seemed to be in reserve order.  Sigh!

Posted September 20th, 2010 at 10:28 PM :: Add a Comment

I am finally reaching a milestone of my life tomorrow. Having finally reach here,  the journey has not being so scary. Got a few bumps and bruises, some unresolved issues, generally quite tired.  Otherwise,  I am still the same old khing.  Just khing needs to admit that age is catching up with her.  Not real regrets cause I believed I tried my best and to the limit I can handle.  I still try to stick to my believe of doing good but I know I am bias sometime and sometime situation does not permit me to fully open up. 

Along the way, old khing did get lost for a while. Then when I was presented with an opportunity to choose between past and future, I choose my past in the end. Because without past, there is no present and there is no future. I just know that life is not about giving unconditionally or receiving unconditionally but it is about compromising.       

Watching friends taking the next step,  I can't help but recalled my our time of carefree.  It make me realise I need to treasure the time with those I have not completely cut off from my life and appreciate all the friends that have patience to keep up with me.  Deep in my heart, I also hold gratitude and respect to individuals that have touched my heart and also how much they have to sacrifice for others. 

 

Posted July 26th, 2010 at 09:43 PM :: Add a Comment

I have being busy.  I have being so busy that I have forgotten my past.  Maybe I am trying to let go of the past and in the process I let go of a lot of good people from my past.  The irony is that the past that I try to shed off keeps creeping back to me closer and closer.  The past that doesn't allow me to freely speak my mind, the past that needs me to accept what is wrong as right, the past that required me to pretend that everything is fine when everything is not okay, the past that I hate yet I need to accept. 

 

 

 

 

Posted July 20th, 2010 at 11:47 PM :: Add a Comment