Recently, I reach a point of my life,rediscover the long lost missing courage.

My feeling is captured in similar post that I posted months ago:

Say It Is Possible

Photo 1: Me with the natives from Tahan River , Peninsular Malaysia

Photo 2: Bourdain with natives, the Iban from Sarawak, West Malaysia 

Having born and breed in Sarawak, I prided myself to have known the native well.  I always thought that the natives in west malaysia have similarity and if we ever traced the family tree, these two tribes probably coming from the same ancestral.

 Although both tribes have similar way of living, hunting and farming, I was very surprised even godsmacked that all these while, I didn't know that the natives in the Peninsular of Malaysia are quite different of those from Borneo Island.  They are actually of African Origin, whereas the Iban more of Asian descendent.

Photo 1: Merlion with backdrop of HSBC bank, both are undergoing some maintainance and restoration work.

Photo 2: New York got Wall Street, Singapore got Raffles Place.

Photo 3: London got London Eye, Singapore got "Something Eye" I forgot the name oready..he he..

Photo 4: Finally, sometime unique that the world don't have, The Durian, the esplanade and theatre hall resembling the famous local spiky fruit.

As my posts were taken personally, the results indeed were disastrous. The problem lies within the fact that my writings were only a fragment of the whole picture. The exact picture was not being drawn and conclusions were made likened to the story of three blind men touching an elephant; one claimed the elephant's like a coconut tree, the other a rope, the other only God-knows-what-he-meant. 

I have no anger, just resignation. Resignation which was closely followed by a string of sadness and avalanche of sorrow and folorn.

As there were many things he knew through my posts, there were countless left  unspoken, untold. What he didnt know was that I felt lonely not because I lost my friends but because there were days where I only got to spend only a few short precious minutes with him a day. Which only then to be intensified when seeing other close friends with the privacy and space and were able to spend all their time for each other.

I'm sure there are some people in the world wearing the same shoes as mine.

For example, your loved one may not know that you left aside important meets in hope to spend an evening with him, only to know after that he has to go in a flash due to some unforeseen matters. You'd say its all fine, and mean it but at the same time your heart ached a thousand broken bones.

Maybe too, he doesn't know that the reason you could smile and joked when you see him is because he's your sugar rush, your sunshine. Or perhaps you feel moody because he too got blue. On top of that, you started to love football and pc's because he made it so interesting and funny. And you just can't stop to get involved in every possible way in his life without tyring to look like a leech. Or with the fear of looking like one. Neither does he know that just one look at his face and all your loneliness has found its immediate cure because he's the only one who could fill your heart. As well as the fact that you'd sometimes make yourself look like a dumbo with dough-brain to make him laugh because seeing him happy, he automatically becomes your joy.

Or when he's far away, you'd spend those nights shedding precious salty drops of tears in silence on your bed just because you missed him.

Also, of how heartbroken you got when you realized that he's not feeling well and that you wished that you would feel his pain for him instead. Sometimes you'd even pray hard enough for his recovery that you start to question God, "WHY?".

More to that, he surely didn't know that you found joy, not in what he bought for you but his sincerity in it.

Maybe too, he doesn't know that you would try to find every possible excuse to find a way to spend time with him without trying to interfere in his life.

Perhaps he doesn't know how much you are thinking of him, right now, at this very moment; that you find him insatiable-you'll never ever get enough of him.

And I bet he doesn't noe that there were dozens of things more that you thought of about him. As well as how much exactly you feel for him, exactly how much he means to you.

Of course, he doesn't know...

Written by my nineteen years' old cousin. 

Apparently, I am.  To play this quite entertaining game, go to: http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/ratatouille/games/chop_chop/index.html

"Science is an wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it", Albert Einstein.